Lord Voldemort vs Emperor Palpatine
by Sage Lightning
Summary: A showdown between two of the fictional world's most cruel, evil, insane, and powerful villians is about to begin! I hope the good guys can stop thi-arrgh! Message terminated by Emperor Palpatine. Rated T for some language and violence.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Star Wars or anything else that I use in this parody.

Author's Note: Well, now…Ah, who am I kidding. Nobody reviewed You've Just Crossed the Line! III. And so to anyone who actually read it, I've decided not to start my epic with Lightning, not yet. I will instead write some more "retarded but enjoyable" caliber parodies. And if anyone out there doesn't like that, then I could always start on my epic story too. Just review, please, so I know when to stop writing these, or possibly continue them.

Lord Voldemort vs. Emperor Palpatine

Prologue: Wormtail Posthumously Destroys the Rebel Alliance

Voldemort and his loyal minions sat at the spacious table located inside Malfoy Manor, plotting. Goblets flew everywhere, and fists connected with faces as they decided who to kill next. The amount of magical energy in the sitting room was so strong that it ripped holes in the space-time continuum.

" This is madness!" A woman named Elizabeth Swann shouted.

" This is politics." Retorted a drunk, clumsy looking pirate known as Jack Sparrow.

A man from the battle of Thermopylae appeared next, screaming: "THIS IS SPARTA!!"

But unfortunately, the ancient Spartan's roar alerted Lord Voldemort, who promptly Avada Kedavra'd the three interlopers.

"Silence you fools, or I will pwn you too!" Voldemort commanded.

" Umm sir….. what does 'pwn' mean?" Wormtail asked.

" It means AVADA KEDAVRA!!"

Wormtail was blasted through the roof by Voldemort's curse, and disappeared into the night sky. The Death Eaters fell silent.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away……

A X-Wing class fighter skimmed atop of the massive Death Star's trench. Behind the space ship, three TIE fighters followed in pursuit.

Darth Vader, the infamous Sith Lord, sat in the lead ship reading his target screen.

"I have you now!" he gloated as he prepared to fire.

(-) (-) (-)

Han Solo nose dived the Millenium Falcon towards the Death Star. As he approached the trench, he saw a lone X-Wing being chased. But just as he was about to open fire on the Imperials, it happened. The body of a short, rat-like man appeared from a rip in space and crashed into the Millenium Falcon's command room, shattering the window.

"Holy SH-!" Han screamed as the cabin depressurized and flung him and Chewbacca into the vaccuum of space. The Millenium Falcon, now lacking a pilot to fly it, crashed into the Death Star creating a small fireball.

(-) (-) (-)

Darth Vader fired his fighter's lazers at his target; the X-Wing exploded, destroying both Luke and the last chance to defeat the Empire. The Death Star's lazer then destroyed Yavin's moon (and the rebel base) as he pulled out of the trench.

(-) (-) (-)

Two days after the destruction of the Rebel Alliance, the Emperor himself arrived at the Death Star. Once he departed from his shuttle, the Emperor immediately fried 10,000 stormtroopers with his Sith lightning.

"My lord, why?" a rather scared Imperial Officer asked.

The Emperor's answer was to chop off the officer's head with his lightsaber. Word quickly spread throughout the space station that the Emperor was pissed. No one dared ask why however, lest he who asked died an even more terrible death.

And so, when Vader knelt before his master in the Emperor's office, he resorted to using his mental "happy place". (Which this author will not go into detail about. Period.)

"What is thy bidding, my master?"

The Emperor looked at Darth Vader for a moment before cackling madly.

"Ha! I sense your fear! But my anger is not directed towards you; rise." The Emperor said, allowing Vader to stand up. " Rather, it is directed at a presence that I sensed only briefly a couple of days ago."

"A presence, my master?" Vader inquired.

"Yes, and one that is as cruel, evil, insane, and powerful as I! I must destroy it!" The Emperor cackled. " I have been trying to locate it, but it seems to be coming from the vacuum of space itself. Perhaps……unlikely as it seems, the presence is not of this dimension."

"What would you have me do about it, master?" Vader offered.

"Nothing for the moment." the Emperor responded. " We shall go to where it last appeared and wait. Once this entity reveals itself, we act. I shall be the most powerful and insane being in any universe! ANY!!"

The evil Sith Lord cackled madly again while he shot more Sith lightning at his Red Guards, killing them all. Meanwhile, Vader remained on his knees muttering to himself, "Think of my happy place…think of my happy place…"


	2. Lazer Tag

**Disclaimer**: (Author takes out his wand) Accio one hundred billion dollars! ……Drat! It didn't work; I still do not own Harry Potter, Star Wars, or any other any other stuff I may have put in this parody.

Chapter Two: Lazer Tag

Back at Malfoy Manor…

After Voldemort had put the little rat out of his misery, he announced: "It is nearly time for us to attack the Ministry of Magic itself."

"And then we will finally get our overdue paychecks!" Rodolphus Lestrange exclaimed.

The entire table turned to look at him.

Bellatrix Lestrange shook her head. "I'll take care of the fool, _my lord_!" She offered with a crazy smile on her face.

SCENE CENSORED FOR THE SAKE OF THE READER'S SANITY (AND THIS FIC'S T RATING)

(Elevator music plays while Rodolphus emits various shrieks of pain)

Bellatrix held a knife and a chainsaw-

WHOA! DIDN'T CENSOR LONG ENOUGH!

(more elevator music plays, louder this time)

As Bellatrix disposed of her formerly alive husband, the people around her reacted in various ways. Snape went into his happy place, one similar to a certain Sith Lord's in another dimension. Crabbe and Goyle suddenly became geniuses. Voldemort had a smile on his face. And Draco Malfoy started bleeding from his eyes and ears before dying in a fiery explosion that also killed Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.

Back on the Death Star…

The Emperor sat at his throne looking out into space. The doors to his throne room opened and a random Imperial officer stepped in.

"Yes?" Emperor Palpatine asked in a hiss.

"My Lord, we have entered the area of space that you wanted to see." The officer announced with a tone of fear in his voice.

"Good…" The Emperor hissed again. The officer let out a sigh of relief.

"Now then, open fire on those coordinates!" the Emperor commanded.

"Right away, my Lord!" the officer said as he hurried out of the throne room.

As he left, Darth Vader looked at the Emperor and asked, "Why didn't you just use the intercom?"

Palpatine let out a cackle and replied "I like to see them cower like that…it's funny!"

(-) (-) (-)

The crew of the Death Star began preparations to fire it's doomsday lazer. Within a few minutes, and several random deaths, they fired at the rip in space.

Malfoy...I mean Voldemort Manor…

Luckily for the magical universe, the unusual scientific properties of the rip in space and time weakened the incoming lazer. The lazer hit the wards of the Manor, which Voldemort had reinforced, and fizzled out. But it was still enough to grab their attention.

"What…was THAT?!" Bellatrix screeched.

Voldemort said nothing as he looked at the sky through the hole Wormtail made at his death.

"Interesting…AVADA KEDAVRA!" He roared as he shot his spell towards where the lazer had come from.

Back in the Emperor's throne room…

Emperor Palpatine sat at his throne, looking at the rip in space. As he continued to watch, a series of lightsaber-clashing sounds erupted behind him, followed by the thump of a body hitting a wall. The Emperor slowly turned around to find himself staring at…

the end of chapter two.

"It most certainly is not!" the Emperor yelled at the ceiling. He shot some Sith lightning at the ceiling which somehow kept the chapter going. He then turned to look in front of him…but saw no one!

"What is not?" A rather familiar voice asked from near the floor.

The Emperor looked near the floor and saw… "Yoda. Why are you still alive?"

Yoda frowned. "To kick the crap out of you, the reason is!"

As Yoda activated his lightsaber and lunged at the Emperor, a green beam of light suddenly shot out of the rip in space, phased through Palpatine's window, and hit Yoda.

"…to hell…I wish you would go…" Yoda whispered to the Emperor before he died.

"After you, shorty! HA HA HA!" The Emperor cackled.

He then looked at the wall nearest the Royal Elevator, and saw Darth Vader with a hole in his chest.

Vader looked up at Palpatine, and wheezed, "Master, I am going to die…but before I do…"

Vader suddenly felt alive again; he looked at his chest to see that the hole through his life support suit was gone.

"Damn it." Vader growled.

"Now, now," the Emperor said, "I can't have you dying on me yet, I feel that I will have need of you when we arrive at the place beyond the rip."

"We're going _in_ the rip, master?" Darth Vader inquired.

"Indeed we shall. Whoever lies beyond it has sent back a lazer of their own, which killed Yoda. I must…kill my rival!"

And once again the Emperor began to cackle, leaving Vader to order the Royal shuttle to be ready for departure.


	3. When Worlds Collide

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. That shall never change.

Author's note: Thanks stabbythings for the review, I do not get very many. I will try to keep the amount of epic parody at a level OVER 9000! (couldn't resist…). And one more thing: I had a fit of stupidity and accidentally labled the last chapter as 'chapter two' It is actually chapter one, but most of you likely figured that out. Sorry about that...

* * *

Chapter Two: When Worlds Collide

Palpatine's Royal Shuttle, en route to the rip…

"Master, are you sure this is wise?" Vader worringly asked as the shuttle neared the rip in space.

The Emperor continued to look out into space for a moment before shrugging his shoulders…and slicing one of his Red Guard's head off with his lightsaber.

"Sorry I asked…" Darth Vader grumbled as the shuttle entered the rip.

* * *

The Ministry of Magic…

Two Aurors stood guard at the Minister of Magic's office door, willing to lay down their lives to protect their leader. Too bad they would miss their chance. A sudden pop emanated from within the Minister's office, followed a powerful door sealing spell. Scrimgeour died five minutes later, and Wizarding Britian fell to Voldemort.

Three hours later, the Death Eaters began a wild party at the Department of Mysteries in celebration of their victory. They had found the Ministry's secret stash of firewhisky, and then decided to light a bonfire with the Ministry of Magic law scrolls. Snape, being the only intelligent "Death Eater" among Voldemort's forces, decided to skip the party and the ensuing drunken insanity.

As the Death Eaters circled crazily around their bonfire, listening to the Weird Sisters band burn inside the huge blaze (Voldemort hates them…), Bellatrix started to shout, "Who wants to see my-"

She was then interrupted by an evil, booming voice: "**HEM HEM**!"

"I say, that sounds dreadfully similar to the voice of former Ministry of Magic Employee, Dolores Umbridge!" Crabbe warned in a stereotypical British genius accent.

"Wait…what did he say?" Rookwood thickly asked.

"Ugh, why did I even want to go to this baboon's party…I SAID DOLORES UMBRIDGE HAS RETURNED FROM THE DEAD!" Crabbe shouted.

Rookwood's face lit up in understanding. "Oh! I get it! We should probably run now right, Goyle?"

But Goyle had already had his brains eaten by the zombified Umbridge, who had used Rookwood's fit of stupidity to eat half of the Death Eaters in the department during that time.

Rookwood and the remaining Death Eaters suddenly panicked and began to shoot Avada Kedavra curses everywhere. And while that did not kill Umbridge, who was in fact already dead, the curses did manage to kill nearly everyone else except for Bellatrix.

Umbridge looked at Bellatrix, and then began to slowly shuffle towards her, moaning, "Brains…"

While many people would panic at the sight that was before Bellatrix, Bellatrix herself was not your average person.

"Hahahaha! You think you can eat MY brains?" She shouted. Bellatrix then began to make elaborate motions in the air with her wand.

"Thermonuclearus Bombarda!"

And with that, Bellatrix Lestrange vaporized half of England.

* * *

Back on Palpatine's Imperial Shuttle…

The Emperor's shuttle emerged from the rip in space and time roughly several thousand feet in the air, only to have all of its computer systems fried by an EMP.

"Fix this thing now!" Palpatine ordered his pilot while alert sirens sounded inside the shuttlecraft.

The pilot began to tremble and shake. "I can't, your excelency; the systems have all been fried by something!"

Palpatine suddenly picked the pilot up and threw him out of the front Vader rushed to the pilot's chair and began the attempt to safely land the spaceship somewhere.

* * *

Little Hangleton, in the northern half of England…

After leaving his motley force of Death Eaters at the Ministry, Voldemort and his second lieutenant, Snape, apparated to his main base in Little Hangleton. They had something to discuss…

"You think _I _am a traitor, my Lord?" Snape exclaimed as they stood inside of Voldemort's office.

Voldemort gave a sneer, "No, I said Chuck Norris is gay…of course I think you're a traitor!"

Two thousand miles away in the United States, a three million strong horde of Chuck Norris fans cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced…by thoughts of killing Voldemort.

"Hmm…perhaps I should not have said that…" Voldemort mused as he gazed at the ceiling.

Snape's face momentarily brightened.

"So I'm not a traitor?"

Voldemort chuckled for a moment, before saying, "Nope, you still are. AVADA KED-"

But before he could finish the spell and kill Snape, a certain Imperial shuttle crashed into the large office room, knocking them both to the floor.

* * *

With the Emperor and Vader…

Palpatine lifted his head after blacking out momentarily, looking at the mess of tangled wires and broken steel his prized spaceship had become. He began to lose his temper…

…and then two voices simultaneously shouted, "SNAPE/VADER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL!


	4. Revenge of the Apprentices

Disclaimer: …

Horde of Lawyers: We're waiting…

Sage Lightning: Alright, alright, sheesh. I own nothing, absolutely nothing in this story. Anyways… I LIVE! Sorry about the wait, but I had lost my internet connection (which isn't even mine, it's a wireless signal from who knows where). And thank you, fans, for making this my most successful story so far. I only hope I can live up to your expectations.

* * *

Chapter Three: Revenge of the Apprentices

Previously on Lord Voldemort vs. Emperor Palpatine…

Jedi Master Revan walked towards Darth Malak, his lightsaber glowing a bright yellow. He suddenly stopped and looked at the Star Forge's celing, before complaining: "We aren't a part of your parody, so get the (censored!) out of KOTOR!"

How rude…

The Author suddenly hacked into the game, making Darth Malak gain 9001 attack.

"Ha ha ha! Now I am invincible!" Malak roared triumphantly.

"Aww…damn it!" Revan groaned.

Previously on Lord Voldemort vs. Emperor Palpatine (for real this time)…

Palpatine lifted his head after blacking out momentarily, looking at the mess of tangled wires and broken steel his prized spaceship had become. He began to lose his temper…and then two voices simultaneously shouted, "SNAPE/VADER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL!

* * *

And now, the continuation…

Little Hangleton, Riddle Manor…

Voldemort frowned while brushing bits of metal off of his robe. "Was that…"

He walked up to the crashed spaceship and looked through a hole in its hull. Voldemort immediately recognized who was inside.

"YOU!"

"YOU!" Palpatine shouted back while climbing out of his spaceship.

Lord Voldemort drew his wand and shouted "AVADA KEDAVRA!", while the Emperor Palpatine flung his Sith Lightning at him.

The two attacks met halfway between them, but instead of ricocheting off each other, a priori incantantem-like effect occurred. A hole in the space time continuum opened again, but luckily nothing seemed to come out of the rip.

After about five minutes, the two evil masterminds gave up their struggle.

Voldemort managed to catch his breath first, and said, "Well, it seems that we are about equal in strength."

Palpatine replied, "Then why don't we make our apprentices fight?"

Voldemort put his hand on his chin thoughtfully, and then said, " He's not my apprentice, but why not? Snape, fight this enemy's apprentice if you want to live!"

Snape stepped forward, muttering to himself: "That seems at least partially contradictory…"

Voldemort suddenly turned his wand on Snape. "I heard that! CRUCIO!"

While Snape twitched on the floor, Palpatine ordered Vader to fight Snape.

"As you wish, master." Darth Vader said.

Vader turned his lightsaber on and lunged at Snape. Snape, however, managed to launch a legilimency mind attack at Darth Vader, paralyzing him with a headache.

"Oww! My freakin' head!" Vader roared as Snape got to his feet.

Snape looked throught the memoried that he had gleaned from the half-robotic Sith's head. He grinned as he found a memory that could be exploited. But it would have to wait, because Vader had recovered from his headache, and had started to force choke him.

As Snape began to gurgle from the lack of air, the Emperor started to cackle some more.

" Is that all you're capable of?" Voldemort jested, obviously ignoring Snape. "Cackling?"

Palpatine's wicked smile slid off his face for a moment, before returning. "You're one to talk! Your apprentice sucks! HA HA HA!"

While the masters were arguing, Snape had come to a realization, and was hoping it would help him survive this encounter.

" Vader…" Snape gurgled, "We have…similar pasts…I read…your mind…why can't we…work together…to kill our masters?"

Darth Vader stopped force choking Snape. He thought about Snape's offer for a few moments, and then decided, "Sounds like a good plan but how can we pull that off?"

Snape looked at the rip in space/time. "I have another good idea…"

* * *

Chuck Norris Fan Club H.Q., Austin, Texas... (I made that up)

The leader of said fan club paced around his office, muttering to himself, "How can I build a multi-dimensional transporter?"

Suddenly a bright flash blinded him for a second, and when he regained his sight, he saw a man wearing a cloak, and a robotic looking man.

Snape raised an eyebrow at the man's confusion, before asking, "Would you be interested in a chance to kill Voldemort?"

For the Chuck Norris Fan Club, Christmas had come early.

* * *

Back at Little Hangleton...

The two villians continued to argue over whose apprentice was the strongest, while somehow missing the fact that Snape and Vader had left that universe.

"Snape can kill people in an instant, fool!" Voldemort yelled at Palpatine.

"Well... Darth Vader has a really cool lazer sword! Beat that!" Palpatine retorted.

As Voldemort opened his mouth to beat that, the dimensional rift opened again. Snape, Vader, and 1,000 angry Chuck Norris fans, most of them around the mansion, appeared out of it. Palpatine and Voldemort stopped arguing immediately.

"What's this?" Voldemort demanded.

Vader shook his head slightly, "We're tired of you two always treating we apprentices like dirt! _Master_, looks like I don't have to die in order to say…I QUIT!

"Attack!" Snape ordered the enraged fans.

To be continued…


	5. The Battle of Epic Randomness

Standard disclaimer: I own nothing that I use in this story.

Chapter Four: The Battle of Epic Randomness

* * *

Previously on…

The sound of a record skipping echoes throughout the flashback. JedI Master Revan appeared on the horizon, holding two de-activated lightsabers with one arm, while the other was missing.

"Oh no! No, no, no, no, no. You're not pulling that Sh(tuff) on me again." Revan said angrily.

Author Lightning's voice replied, "I wasn't going to but…"

Author Lightning summoned 234,543,768,000,000,000 Gungans and had them all start shouting at Revan.

"In the name of the Force, shut the hell up!" Revan demanded, but to no avail. The Gungans continued to shout praises at him in their Raspberry award-winning (a.k.a. Hollywood's worst actor/movie awards) voices.

Revan suddenly turned green and ten feet taller. A huge lazer beam then shot out of his mouth, killing all of the Gungans and causing him to gain infinite light side points.

Revan grinned and shouted, "Hurray!"

But then his lazer time-traveled to the 1960's for no apparent reason and hit George Lucas, killing him too, thus creating a parad-

Error!

Error!

Error!

Star Wars does not compute! Fanfic self destructing! May God have mercy on your souls!

…This fan fic would have blown up, if Chuck Norris and Burt Gummer hadn't used their awesomeness to revive George Lucas.

* * *

Back at Little Hangleton…

"Will the Author please shut up and let Vader and I kill our former masters!" Snape furiously asked.

After waiting about five minutes, Palpatine asked, "Uhh…what were we doing here again?"

Snape shook his head in disbelief. "I believe we were going to kill you."

"Senile old fart…" Vader added.

"Attack!" Snape once again comanded the Chuck Norris fans.

The Chuck Norris fans all took out AK-47's and began to fire them at Voldemort and the Emperor. Voldemort used a deflection spell to bounce the bullets back at the fans, killing them instantly, while the Emperor Palpatine jumped out of the window and killed the rest of the Chuck Norris fans with his Sith lightning.

The battle had lasted twenty seconds.

Snape's jaw hit the floor, while Vader began to state the obvious: "…That went well."

Palpatine Force jumped back into the room, gloating and cackling, "Ha ha ha ha ! We pwned you!"

Voldemort let a chuckle out. "You can't beat us. WE are the masters for a reason. Just surrender, and we won't kill you in the most inhumane way possible"

"But-" Palpatine interrupted

"We can't let them know I'm lying…" Voldemort whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

"Ah."

"Er-hem!" Snape cleared his throat loudly.

"WHAT?" The two evil masterminds shouted

Snape shook his head and began to chuckle, confusing Palpatine and Voldemort. "You two really are stupid aren't you?"

Palpatine began to use his Sith lightning on Snape, but Voldemort stopped him.

"Let's hear what he has to say before we kill him." Voldemort proposed.

"Good. Because you two are doomed. Vader and I now control the most powerful force in all dimensions." Snape paused for dramatic effect, and then pointed towards the dimensional portal. "This _stable_ dimensional portal!"

Palpatine's insane grin turned into a look of horror in about one tenth of a second. "Did he just say _stable _dimensional portal? …Uhh…Voldemort…we're pretty screwed now."

"Crap." Voldemort said as he turned even paler.

Snape and Vader jumped into the portal. After a few moments, the dimensional portal began to suck Palpatine and Vader into it, despite their efforts to get away.

"But mommy, I don't wanna die!" Voldemort cried as he went temporarily insane (er).

"Oh, shut up!" Palpatine snapped as the two disappeared into the portal.

* * *

?

The two evil masterminds suddenly found themselves on a volcanic planet of some sort. They scanned the horizon, but saw nothing but volcanic rock, lava, and a cliff about twenty feet to their right.

Vader and Snape appeared about thirty feet in front of and Palpatine became enraged ath the sight of them.

"Where have you taken us?" Voldemort demanded, while Palpatine had a far-off look of recognition.

Darth Vader chuckled a bit, before answering, "Why don't you ask my former master? HE knows what planet this is."

Voldemort turned his head at Palpatine. "We're on another planet?"

Palpatine mused for a moment to himself. "Yes, and it's called Mustafar. How very clever of you…_Anakin Skywalker_!

To be continued…

* * *

…Just kidding!

A near total silence suffused the normally loud lava-covered planet, and Darth Vader slowly took his helmet off. As he finished taking the helmet off, the Emperor gasped. Anakin Skywalker had indeed returned; his face showed no sign that it was ever burned at all.

"It seems the Force wants me to fufill the prophesy, and live at the same time. I have no need for your suit any longer!" Anakin declared.

There was a loud flash, and the robotic suit dissappeared…leaving Anakin with no clothing on.

"…What the hell?" Anakin shouted as the other three laughed at his misfortune. "I mean, this can't be fair!"

Another flash rent the area, and this time Anakin was wearing the Qel Droma JedI robes, last seen about 4,000 years ago.

"Ah, now that's better." Anakin said while he examined the ancient robes.

After taking stock of his new powers, Anakin grinned madly and proclaimed, "Now then, it's time for our (Anakin and Severus') redemption. LET THE BATTLE OF EPIC RANDOMNESS BEGIN!"

* * *

(cue Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath Sekto Battle theme music)

If you want, you can skip to the battle and just use this for reference.

**Anakin's Stats: **

HP: 1000

Force/Magic level (1-3=padawan/student, 4-7=knight/average, 8-10=Master) : 6 (+2 bonus from Qel Droma Robes)

Attack (F/M lv. x 10) : 80

Defense (F/M lv. x 5 +armor bonus): 40 (+10 Qel Droma Robes)

Powers: Lightsaber attack, Righteous Anger (attack bonus based on character's past), Force Push, Force Jump (dodges the next attack).

**Snape's Stats:**

HP: 750

Magic level: 9

Attack: 90

Defense: 45

Powers: Sectumsempra, Veritaserum ( +20 attack and a guaranteed hit, both for the next turn, restricted to three uses), Medicinal Potion (restores team's health (Magic level x 15)) Legilimency (in addition to a mind attack, the target's next attack is guaranteed to miss next turn)

**Palpatine's Stats:**

HP: 800

Force Level: 10

Attack: 100

Defense: 50 (-10 for extreme old age)

Powers: Sith Lightning, Force Revive (restricted to one use and must be used on someone else), Manipulation (target's next move is guaranteed to miss, or deal ½ damage), Lightsaber attack.

**Voldemort's Stats:**

HP: 900

Magic Level: 9

Attack: 90

Defense: 45

Powers: Avada Kedavra (one-hit kill, but can be negated and is restricted to two uses) Horcrux: (Prevents death, but restricted to five uses) Imperius Curse (next move is guaranteed to hit, or the target's next move is guaranteed to miss), Cruciatus Curse.

Anakin took out his lightsaber and lunged at Voldemort. Voldemort tried to dodge, but found he couldn't! Anakin's attack hit its mark, but it only hurt Voldemort instead of killing him.

_**Voldemort's HP: 865/900.**_

"…What the hell? What kind of battle is this?" Voldemort asked in obvious confusion.

Snape replied, "It's known as a "Role Playing Game style" battle. Odd, isn't it? Legilimens!"

Snape launched a mind attack at Palpatine, who suddenly received a massive headache as a result.

"Interesting…" Snape mused.

_**Palpatine's HP: 750/800.**_

"Grrrh! I'll get you for that!" Palpatine growled.

The Emperor launched a stream of Sith Lightning at Severus Snape, who miraculously dodged it!

"What?" Cried Voldemort. "How was _he_ able to dodge it?"

Snape answered in a know-it-all tone, "I read his mind in my last attack."

"Damn this crappy battle style! Screw Role Playing Games!" Palpatine ranted, earning him the hate of millions of people, including the Author.

Voldemort decided that he wanted Snape to suffer.

"Crucio!"

The Cruciatus Curse hit Snape, forcing him to the floor in pain.

_**Critical Hit(damage multiplied by two)! Snape HP: 660/750**_

Anakin watched as Snape got off the floor. Anakin really had had it with these manipulative super-villian types. Palpatine especially; The evil Emperor had manipulated him into destroying the Republic, the JedI Order, and even…Padme. He had had enough.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!" Anakin roared a a golden dome of energy surrounded him.

Snape's jaw dropped, while Palpatine and Voldemort both shouted, "Holy crap!"

_**Anakin's Attack increased by OVER 9000! due to Righteous Anger!**_

Snape regained his composure first, and launched another Legilimens mind attack, this time at the very distracted Voldemort.

"Wha-" Voldemort started to shout, before he was hit with a massive headache.

Snape raised his eyebrow in worry.

_**Critical Hit! Voldemort's HP: 775/900.**_

Palpatine watched as Snape finished reading Voldemort's mind.

"So that's how it is…HA HA HA HA!" Palpatine cackled as he used his Manipulation power on Anakin.

Voldemort, who had nearly crapped his pants earlier, decided to take Anakin out before he could take them out.

"Avada-!"

"Anakin, duck!"

"-Kedavra!" Voldemort finished as a green jet of light raced out of his want and flew towards Anakin.

Anakin hit the floor…just in time to escape the curse, thanks to Snape's timely warning.

Anakin quickly got off of the floor and aimed a massively overpowered Force Push at Voldemort. Palpatine attempted to distract Anakin with whispers through the Force.

"Not…this…TIME!" Anakin yelled as his Force Push suddenly widened.

_**Anakin's Force push has gained the ability to hit two targets at once due to Righteous Anger! Palpatine's Manipulation only halved the possible damage taken!**_

The last words ever heard from either Lord Voldemort or the Emperor Palpatine were, "What the fu-".

The Force Push hit the two villians with so much force (not a repetitous use of the word), that they literally exploded into fragments of flesh, blood, and bone.

_**Anakin's Force Push negated Voldemort's Horcrux ability due to the massive power it had!**_

_**Voldemort and Palpatine died!**_

Author's Note: The music suggestions are just that. You don't have to go look that song up...only if you want to.


	6. Epilogue: Redemption of the Apprentices

Standard Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

Author's Note: I hope this isn't too epic for a parody…but this is how I want this story to end.

Epilogue: Redemption of the Apprentices

* * *

(cue Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past credits theme ZREO remix)

Anakin Skywalker and Severus Snape stood alone on the lava plains of Mustafar, victorious.

"Well, we actually killed them. They've finally gotten the justice they so richly deserved." Anakin said with an air of finality.

"And good riddance." Snape spat.

Anakin turned to look at the dimensional portal, his mind deep in thought.

Finally, after about five minutes, he almost whispered, "We could use the portal to right both our worlds…"

Snape turned to look at the portal as well. Yes, he could imagine doing exactly that; no Voldemort, no Wizarding War, and…most importantly of all…

"…Lily/Padme" They both sighed at the same time.

There was no need to discuss what to do next; they had already made their minds up.

Anakin then turned to Snape, and held out his hand. "It was nice to meet you, Severus. Good luck in your dimension."

Snape shook Anakin's hand, "You too."

The two brothers in all but blood stepped into the Dimensional Portal. The Portal collapsed several seconds afterwards, and a blinding flash of light consumed the surface of Mustafar.

In a dimension that is different from the rest, an ancient wizard and a middle-aged Jedi smiled at the Apprentices' decision, before they too dissapeared from that realm after death.

* * *

Credits

Fanfiction Writer: Sage Lightning

_Anakin stood next to his former self inside of the JedI Masters' Chamber. His former self jumped and activated his lightsaber, shouting, "Who are you?"_

_Anakin paused for a second, before saying, "I'm you, but I foolishly went to save the Chancellor Palpatine instead of staying."_

Fanfiction Plot: Sage Lightning

_Snape quietly followed his former self to the room where Trelawney was about to utter the life-changing prophesy. Just before they got to the room, Snape tapped his former self's shoulder, muttering "If you do that, your life will become a living hell…"_

Unoriginal Plot and Characters:

George Lucas

20th Century Fox

J.K. Rowling

Warner Brothers Studios

Walt Disney Studios

Universal Studios

_As Anakin began to fade away, he knew he had succeeded. The Sith were no more, and millions upon millions of lives had been saved…_

Special Thanks to the Following Fanfiction Authors:

stabbythings

LuckyNumbers

Malcho1234

robo-pie

_As his former self prepared to curse him, Snape saw his own body begin to fade. The prophesy had been uttered without him eavsdropping. "Hah." Snape uttered to himself, "Now Dumbledore has to do his own dirty work." As his rather perplexed former self watched him fade away competely, Severus added, "Look at his eyes and mind, not his face…"_

**THE END**

**Lord Voldemort vs. Emperor Palpatine**


End file.
